Mops don't clean, people do.

The news hit me hard. She didn't mince her words; now I'm doomed.

For the last two decades I have been fortunate to have a cleaning lady. As I worked a little out of the house and contributed to our household financially, I felt justified to indulge myself and hire others to do my dirty work. It worked out so beautifully, too. I would notice a ring (scum) in the tub, a spot (mud tracks) on the floor or a pile of dust bunnies under the couch (and table and chairs), and say to myself, " No worries, Bev will be here soon to take care of that." And for all these many years nice women have shown up every week or so to mop, dust, vacuum and make our home livable again. I believe it's a job for professionals so that's how we rolled... until recently.

Last spring I quit work which brought on an unexpected fear. I wondered if Safety Man would connect my free time, our shrinking budget and Bev. Could I expect my 20 year fix to household help to continue without question? After all, while I was still bringing home the dough, I'd announce to my husband and children before I left in the morning, "Remember, wonderful Bev will be here today! Pick your dirty clothes up off the floor! She has to vacuum, you know!!" , then I'd happily proceed with my day knowing that I'd come home to a sparkling kitchen, clean bathrooms that smelled fresh and towels neatly hung on their hooks. The dust would be all gone, replaced with a comfort in my heart knowing that my house was livable again and ready for another week of our abuse. But now I instinctfully knew that I had to be on the down low with cleaning day. Not a word did I mutter about carelessly thrown clothes or cluttered counters. I would post Bev's check ,discreetly tucked in an envelope, onto our kitchens bulletin board simply addressed - "B" and hoped no one noticed how clean the house was when they came home.

It was all going as planned until Bev called. She bluntly explained that she's not cleaning houses anymore. She just blurted it out casually and callously, "Time to do other things."  was her excuse. What?! I hung up with my head spinning, feeling panicked, my palms starting to sweat and knees feeling weak.. What to do? What to do? I have to think fast. Can I hire someone else quick? Maybe no one will notice if another smiling face shows up with a mop and bucket in hand. I scrambled for answers when the phone rang again. It was Safety Man. I impulsively(stupidly) I cried out the horrible news hoping, praying, wishing so badly that he'd suggest I start the process we have been through several times before. Maybe he'd say it was time to find another cleaning lady. Crushingly, he explained to me cheerfully that this was good news. Now would be a super time to save some money and "we" could certainly clean the house ourselves. What a blow. I hung up defeated, depleted and depressed.

I haven't cleaned a toilet in decades. I don't own a mop. I hate my heavy, ugly vacuum. Truthfully, I don't know how to clean and I don't want to learn. I'm an old dog. I don't do new tricks. Which leads me to this insightful quote.

"You all know that even when women have full rights, they still remain fatally downtrodden because all housework is left to them. In most cases housework is the most unproductive, the most barbarous and the most arduous work a woman can do. It is exceptionally petty and does not include anything that would in any way promote the development of the woman." ~ Vladimir Ilyich Lenin

~ Even deplorable despots are right sometimes.
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